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Posts Tagged ‘MusicLady’

Back from the Hiatus

I must apologise. It has been almost a month since I have last written to you. In terms of things to update you with, there honestly isn’t much. I’ve been on holiday, and just been maxin’ relaxin’. It ain’t too taxing.

But what I do want to share is the little project that myself and MusicLady have undertaken.

Our new website

Our new website

That’s right. We’ve spent the last two month’s building a website where Stellenbosch residents can go to check out not only what’s happening in town, but also find guides to fashion, restaurants, wine, and just lifestyle in general. Overall our goal is to become the number one guide to Stellenbosch for the 20-30 year old.

Please go and have a look, and let us know what you think. It’s been a long labour of love, but we feel that this is really what Stellenbosch needs at the moment. The website can be found at http://www.lifeafter5.co.za

We launch on Monday, and have a few things to give away as well. Hou Dop.

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Let me preface today’s post with an apology. Yesterday I promised you a post on America’s Next Top Model. This was the plan, but upon sauntering down to the living room to watch the bitches in 32″ widescreen glory, I was confronted by something horrible. A recap episode. The Horror. Apart from a little gem from ultra-bitch Jade, along the lines of “I’m made of humble, that’s just part of who I am,” there really wasn’t much more to say. One can only assume that the reason this week was a recap was because the girls were being taught something that couldn’t be shown on TV. Like the self-bikini wax, or how to work with credit cards and rolled up dollar bills. Both essential skills in the modelling industry, I might add.

So, in lieu of there being no 30 Rock or even Survivor either (damn Twenty20 World Cup! It’s not even real cricket.), I have found something to write about. Inspired by MusicLady’s post on Little Miss Miley, I have decided to come out. I have a slight obsession. With someone amazing. Her:

No Caption Required.

No Caption Required.

Now I must say, once I left the world of radio, I hardly ever listened it. But on closer inspection, Lady GaGa is set to take over the world.

There’s a lot to like. She dances, she sings, and refers to her VaJayJay as her ‘muffin.’ And she has amazing amount of talent. Now I’m the first to admit that she does nothing more than make pop music. Srsly. That’s all it is. But she’s going to take over the world. Trust me.

Why? Because not only can she sing, dance, play poker with her face and poke her muffin, but she’s smart as shit. She knows exactly how to play her market. Sure, she may have about 1 000 people working their asses off to work her own personal brand, but I have a sneaky feeling she’s got a lot to say about it as well. Unlike, Britney, Christina, or the rest, she seems a little less… uhm… ‘manufactured.’ And when she plays live, she actually plays instruments. And who doesn’t like a juicy, crunchy synth?

I got a hold of her CD recently, and to be quite honest, I’ve listened through it about 15 times now. Having now gotten over my initial shame, I can honestly say this Lady is the tits.

The only thing I don’t like about her, is that she’s so damn famous. Which results in people of below-average intelligence, hopped up on brandy and coke, loving her music. Which sucks. Because it means I have something in common with them now. Grrrr. I’m trying my best to look past it and indulge my guilty pleasure.

Finally, some decent pop music.

Finally, some decent pop music.

This lady is going to go far.

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twitter_logoIt’s tricky to start an article on Twitter. Not a lot of people (read: not enough) know what it’s about, but almost everyone has heard of it. Even my parents have heard of it. So I’m now going to try and explain this Internet phenomenon.

Twitter is a social-networking service, which lumps it into the same catagory as facebook, MySpace, last.fm and sites like del.i.cious. Whereas facebook and MySpace are bloated with all sorts of cool things like applications that make sure you’re awesome, and MySpace is a great tool for musicians to get exposure, Twitter has taken all of that and stripped it down into byte-sized chunks (called ‘tweets’) of no more than 140 characters.

I’m going to attempt to explain the functionality and use of Twitter by comparing it to facebook. Imagine that you strip facebook down so that you can do nothing more than update your status. Essentially, in it’s very simplest form, this is what Twitter is all about. “But I already have facebook!” I hear you shout, “why would I want to update my status twice?” Well Twitter has a hell of lot more features than that:

The Twitter Home Page

The Twitter Home Page

Now with a bit of imagination, the visual similarity with facebook can be seen. However, Twitter has taken a different view to facebook with regards to ‘friends’ (I use this term loosely with sites like facebook). Instead of the usual facebook and MySpace approach of requiring a two-way ‘friendship’ (You know, send a friend request, person confirms, they can see your status updates, and you can see theirs), Twitter has has split this concept in two.

Instead of becoming someone’s friend, you choose to follow them. What this means is that their updates will now show up on your Twitter feed (the white area with all the updates above). Following someone is instant. No waiting for a confirmation, nothing. The person you choose to follow is sent an email to let them know that you’re following them, and whether or not theychoose to follow you back is completely up to them. This is one of the beauties of Twitter, as it means you can follow celebrities, companies, coffee shops, etc. Also, if someone starts following you, you have no duty to follow them in return. In the screenshot, above right, you can see that I follow 52 people, and 80 people follow me.

The idea behind Twitter is that you use it on the go, posting little updates on what you are doing as you go through the day. Twitter was made for mobility. Because the tweets (the updates) are limited to only 140 characters, they are smaller than an sms, and so very cellphone friendly in terms of bandwidth. I did a little experiment to prove this. I’ve been using Twitter on my cellphone for about 5 days, without accessing any other websites off my phone. I’ve only used 4MB in that period. This makes twitter much cheaper than facebook. I tweet (send updates) all through the day, and even use it as an alternative to sms with the friends like MusicLady, who is as hot for Twitter as I am.

Directing a tweet at someone is also easy, by just adding a ‘@’ in front of their username.

Lastly is the powerful search funtion that twitter has:

The Twitter Search Engine - http://search.twitter.com

The Twitter Search Engine - http://search.twitter.com

By tagging your tweets with a ‘hash tag,’ like for example #stelexams in the screenshot above, you can search ALL tweets on the whole of Twitter with this specific tag. I started #stelexams to keep track of what’s happening with people that are tweeting about the Stellenbosch exams. The power of this function was shown on 22 April, election day, by those tagging their tweets with #saelections. This provided a real-time view of what queues were like, where stations were running into problems and so on. This ‘news from the front line’ is faster than any form of media, and is in my opinion, Twitter’s strongest feature.

There are some great people that you can follow on Twitter. Cafe Bello has a twitter account, as does Vida e Caffe, not to mention celebs such as Stephen Fry. Another account worth following is Stellenbosch Student Life, which in a similar vein to the CapeTown account, exists to inform people in Stellenbosch of what’s happening in town via Twitter.

I hope you have found this helpful. Twitter is the future, just no one seems to realise it. The best way to get to grips with Twitter is just to register and use it. It’s fun. It really is.

To follow me on Twitter, click here.

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The benifits of looking after your parents house whilst they are in Germany are many. There’s the fact that you can turn the heater on without feeling too guilty. The fact that the lounge isn’t tiled. The swimming pool in summer. The DSTV. And that I can watch America’s Next Top Model in glorious 32″ LCD flatscreen glory. Beautiful.

Last week the redheaded stepchild was sent home. I liked her, in the way that she had balls. Unfortunately I also strongly suspect that she was a lesbian, and she may have been sent home after peeking at the other girls in the shower. I’m only saying it because no-one else is. But that was last week.

This week’s ‘skill’ the girls had to learn was the art of multi-tasking. ‘Task’ might be a bit of a strong word though. What they had to do, was walk down a catwalk (already a challenge for some), and take off a jacket. At the same time. The poor girls made it seem like a very difficult task indeed. So, to see just how difficult it was, I walked to the kitchen and took off my nightgown (at the same time! And yes, I wear a nightgown. Do you know how cold it is?). No problem. I then made myself a coffee, put on the robe and then, whilst walking back to lounge, had not one, but several sips of coffee. I am totally America’s Next Top Model.

Multi-Tasking. Even this guy can do it. AND he took the picture.

Multi-Tasking. Even this guy can do it. AND he took the picture.

Earlier on in the evening I bumped into MusicLady on Twitter, and we had a great Twitter dissing session whilst the show was happening (I know. I need a life). Her contribution to the girl’s general lack of basic motor control: “they are retards. youre taking off a jacket, not assembling a rocket ship! tools!” What amused me even more than the girls not being able to walk, was the extend to which the tranny runway coach was either hungover or coming down from whatever drugs. It was beautiful. Almost as beautiful as the flamboyant, homosexual, bald, pencil-moustached, overweight twins which followed.

This led to the mini challenge, which was essentially, once again, a wonderful exercise in stereotyping. The challenge took place in a church, and the girls were outfitted in clothing best described as NunSlut. Right from the over-zealous black minister to the hand fans held by the audience, I had swallow the little bit of puke that made it up the back of my throat.

Meanwhile, back at the palace of all things Tyra, Nnenna was once again on the phone to her boyfriend. For hours. This obviously pissed Brooke off, leading to her spewing the hatred of: “What makes her special, she’s from Africa. Well go back to Africa then!” Oh bitchy bitchy Brooke. You just can’t say things like that. Especially if you come from Texas. People will make assumptions.

This is the best picture based joke of Texas I could find. Sorry.

This is the best picture based joke of Texas I could find. Sorry.

But now for the scariest part. The final photo shoot.

For this shoot the girls had to model a pair of shoes (all of which were fugly as shit). Cool, no problem. We can do shoes. The girls were then told that for this shoot they would have to dance. Cool, no problem here either. The style of dancing would be something known as crumping, a form of hip-hop dancing featuring clowns. Wait, what? Did I just use hip-hop and clown in the same sentence? I think I did.

Now imagine this, dancing to hip-hop.

Now imagine this, dancing to hip-hop.

I struggled to find a good definition for crumping. You know, one that will tell me the influences of the dance, certain moves, etc. I couldn’t find any. Urbandictionary did however provide me with an excellent alternative definition:

Crumping The act of dressing up as a crumpet. Covering yourself with butter and jam and then through a series of dance like shaking movements attempting to remove them before your competitors.
Man that was the worst crumping I have ever seen, you were as fresh as just out of the packet.
So besides hardcore clown dancing, the ladies managed to get some nice shots of the ugly shoes. When it came to elimination time and Tyra put on her serious voice, Jade’s ego got inflated just a little bit more, and Leslie got sent home.

Which one was Leslie?
Oh yeah, that one. See what I meant with the clowns?

Oh yeah, that one. See what I meant with the clowns?

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Friday FAIL

This week’s fail is especially for two of my friends, MusicLady and HorseGirl, both of which have an intense love of the equestrian nature.

You're doing it wrong.

You're doing it wrong.

Thanks once again to failblog.org.

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