Posts Tagged ‘Movie Review’

I hate bad movies. I really do. I actually get really depressed if I’ve seen a bad movie. I was a little hesitant at Gadgetboy’s suggestion this morning to go and see Angels and Demons, but The Da Vinci code wasn’t too bad, and it was certainly better than afternoon class. So off to the mall we went, to see what Tom Hanks and Random European Hottie would be up to this time around. The answer: Nothing.

Gadgetboy says: "This book is the business!"

Gadgetboy says: "This book is the business!"

This movie was the most boring, uninspired, ridiculous, plotless piece of shit ever committed to celluloid. Never in my life have I seen a plot with so many loopholes and general faults. It was bloody horrendous. The plot begins with the ridiculous notion that antimatter can be created and captured and stored in suspension. This is MASSIVE pseudoscience CRAP. Basically this antimatter is a time bomb, as once the antimatter is release all hell will break out or get sucked in a blackhole or something. This main plot device allows for all the other loosely truthful myths about the Illuminati to act as little milestones in what is already a very very weak plot.

If you are a diehard fan of the book, don’t go see this movie. If you just want to see what it’s all about, don’t go see it. If you want to see Ewan McGregor brand himself with an Illuminati symbol whilst shoving fistfuls of popcorn down throat then it’s not too bad.

Just don’t expect to emerge out of the movie theatre happy. It’s truly depressing how bad this film is.


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I’ve never been a big fan of superhero movies. I’m also not a big fan of Hugh Jackman, for several reasons, but largely because he’s Australian. They’re all prisoners anyway. But in spite of all of this, I wasn’t going to miss the magic of seeing a new release in the Ster Kinekor in Somerset West, because, well, it’s just an Epic experience.
Hugh Jackman. Australian.

Hugh Jackman. Fosters, Koala's and a shrimp on the barbie.

After furiously working with Tweak and GadgetBoy to finish our assignments due for Private Law, GadgetBoy and I jumped into his car (complete with GeekPlateTM) and hit the R44.

Wednesday evenings are definitely the night to go and see movies. There’s only adults. It’s awesome. No one uses their cellphones during the movie! Well, ‘cept for the douche next to us, but it was okay. I’ll let it slide this time. A quick beer, some Thai food (on a side note, a Thai Green curry makes my eyes water, sweat profusely, and scream for my mommy, but man, it’s good) and we were ready. Popcorn buttered, straws in cooldrinks, let’s see this shit.

The movie traces the origins of Wolverine, how he and his brother Victor (who later becomes Sabretooth) grew up together, right from the Civil War, all the way to ‘Nam, where they eventually get picked up by the US military to form part of an elite strike force, who travel to Nigeria to kick some ass and steal the super-compound, Adamantium (which later gets bonded to Wolverine’s skeleton, rendering him indestructible. After the Nigeria mission, Wolverine walks away from the military, and retires to a life of being a lumberjack. This is explained mostly by Hugh Jackman being shirtless and carrying an axe. Eventually, Victor returns, and kills his girlfriend. The rest of the consists of Wolverine trying his utmost to avenge his girlfriends death.

Don’t go and see this movie if you’re only going to go for the special effects. They suck. HARD. But what makes this movie excellent is the amazing ability of director Gavin Hood to tell a story. He did it without words in The Shopkeeper, won an Oscar for it in Tsotsi, and excells again in X-Men Origins. He’s certainly not an action director, but he doesn’t do too badly in this film.

The action is good, but I kind of felt that the movie hit it’s climax right at the beginning of the film, when Ryan Reynolds showed the most amazing swordfighting ability. The rest of the movie’s action doesn’t measure up to this at all, always leaving you wanting a little more, until right at the very end. The final fight is epic, although maybe a bit short.

Warning: This movie may turn you into a douche.

Warning: This movie may turn you into a douche.

The movie sets a great prequel, and when I walked out, the first thing a wanted to do was go and rent the first X-Men. There’s some dicey casting in places (Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas), but it doesn’t hamper Gavin Hood’s storytelling at all. Go see it. You won’t regret it.

In spite of Hugh Jackman.

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I have a secret. And it’s taking me a lot of guts to admit this, so I’m just going to come out and say it. I’m a closet High School Musical fan. When all my flatmates are out, and I have the place to myself, I turn the surround sound on loud, hope the neighbours can’t hear it, and pop in the DVD. And I love every moment of it. Seriously.

So, with this in mind, I decided this weekend, despite my highly respected views of the folks at cracked.com, to go and see what HSM Golden Boy Zac Efron’s new movie (17 Again) was like. I decided that for this to be a a fair review, I had to swallow my pride, and not worry too much about what people think of me. So I went to Somerset West. You know, cos there I’d be anonymous.

I made on grave mistake though. I went on a Saturday night. Do you remember when you were 16, and it was weekend? What did you do on a Saturday night? That’s right. You went to the movies. I forgot about that fact. So, I gritted my teeth, reminded myself that I paid a lot of money for my movie ticket, and hoped that the experience would be as pleasant as possible.

I don’t think I’ll ever watch movies anywhere else again. I had plenty of legroom, the screen was HUGE (Easily bigger than my house) and I could see. But for the movie: Zac Efron is looking good in skinny jeans. Yes, he wears them, see below:

Zac Efron in his latest, '17 Again'

Zac Efron in his latest, '17 Again'

Once you bear in mind that the entire movie is totally based on cliche’s, and accept it as that, then it’s not that bad. For a plot synopsis go here. The story is nothing original (Let’s see – Freaky Friday, 13 going on 30, It’s a boy/girl thing, etc, etc, etc), but in my ever so humble opinion, this film executes it way way better than the rest of them. The lead character, Mike O’Donnell, played by Zac Efron, is very likeable, and let’s face it, not bad on the eyes. The rest of the ensemble is bloody good looking, including Silas Botwin from Weeds (WTF ever happened to that show?).

Topless Guy: Also in this movie. Photo Credit: Monty Brinton/Showtime

Topless Guy: Also in this movie. Photo Credit: Monty Brinton/Showtime

All in all I really, really enjoyed this movie. It was way better than I thought it would be, showing sensitivity, good humour (I LOL’d a fair few times), and not one fart joke. At all. All of this in spite of having Mathew Perry in it. But my favourite character by far is Ned, the super rich, super geek. Man, a part of me really wants to be like him one day. You’ll have to actually see the movie to know what I’m talking about…

You know what, next time round, I may just go and see the next Zac Efron movie without any shame.

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Right, so I’ve decided to give this blog thing a go, and see if the world is at all interested in the goings on in the life of a 22 year-old, living in Stellenbosch. So here goes, oddly enough, in Cape Town.

This weekend, I decided to take a break from the hecticness of lectures, first year’s with tight bodies and little clothing, and in fact remove myself from Stellenbosch completely. I decided to have a weekend of free food, big bed, DSTv and a big TV, by spending the time with my parents. It has been a while since our last contact session, and it’s always good to put in a bit of facetime, especially for the benifits on the side, like a couple of free groceries. But main issue I wanted to discuss in this blog was the movie I saw today – Slumdog Millionaire.

My parents invited me to come along on their sometime ritual of Sunday morning movies at Cavendish. They decided on Gran Turino, and seeing as I wasn’t in the mood for a tightly-jawed, wrinkled and mumbling Clint Eastwood being mean and racist, I decided to bite the hype, swallow the oscar buzz and see Slumdog Millionaire.

I can understand how some would find the film superfantastique, but I wasn’t convinced. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a delightful story, about an orphan boy from Mumbai who appears on the Indian version of Who wants to be a Millionaire, and the film starts off with him one question away from winning the main prize of 20 million rupees. The show ends, and he will answer the winning question the next day. Meanwhile, he gets arrested on suspicion of cheating, and through his torture and interrogation the audience find out how the events throughout his life give him the answers to every question. There’s also a bit of a love story, and a troubled relationship with his brother. There’s poverty, orphans, and the Taj Mahal. Unfortunatly, the song that seems to be stalking me (M.I.A. – Paper Planes), also makes an appearance.

All in all, the movie ends and you get the expected warm and fuzzy feeling, but other than that I didn’t think it was all that special. D0n’t get me wrong, it isn’t a crap movie, but all the hype and publicity may have stolen a little bit of it’s soul. I still enjoyed it though.

Tonight, I get to see how the political parties embarrass themselves again, and that shall be the subject of tomorrow’s post. Until then.

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