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It started at the beginning of this year. After 9 months working a desk job, not getting any exercise whatsoever, and generally not being very happy with my life, I decided that it was time for a change. Standing on the scales I weighed in at nearly 100kg, I had a size 38 waist, I was smoking about a pack of cigarettes a day, and I jokingly referred to my man-boobs as ‘my B-cups.’

I was starting law school, and I knew I had to make a change. This was my last shot. I’d given up my Drama degree 6 months shy of finishing, and any and all hope on building a future for myself lay in my hands alone. To give you an idea, this is what I looked like (these are all pictures from the beginning of the year).

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Now I’m not writing this blogpost to mark a milestone or anything like that. It’s just that I’ve had a few people ask me what exactly I’ve done to lose the weight. So I’ve decided to tell:

  1. Find out how many calories your body needs in a day, and then take 500 calories out a day. So, for example, I know that if I eat 2500 calories in a day, then I won’t gain any weight. If I eat more than that, I either need to burn them off, or they get converted to fat. If I only eat 2000 calories a day, then my body will need to use stored fat for energy. Weight loss is really that simple.
  2. For a while, monitor everything you eat and drink. A great way to do this is to use a website called http://www.fitday.com. They have just about every food imaginable.
  3. Be patient. I’ve been doing this for 8 months and I’m still not even half way.
  4. Cut sugar and other simple carbs like white bread and deep-fried potatoes. It’ll be really hard at first, but after a while you’ll hardly miss it.
  5. I’ve managed to cut all takeaways out of my diet (pretty much), but if you want to eat a Big Mac, then just factor it into your calorie intake for the day. A calorie is a calorie. It’ll get burnt. You may just still be hungry afterward, so learn to exercise self-control if you want to do this.
  6. My principle these days is not to eat any food that I haven’t cooked myself, with the exception of the odd restaurant meal every now and then (note: restaurant, not take away).
  7. Walk a little bit every day. It’s good for your blood circulation, and gives you time to think. Take your iPod, and it’s even better. You don’t need a destination, just go wandering around.
  8. The first 3 weeks are going to really really suck. You’ll eat your allotted amount of calories for the day, spaced out over breakfast, lunch and dinner, and you’ll still be hungry. In fact, the first week of my diet, I went to bed lying in the foetal position because of hunger pangs. That’s just the process you need to go through as your stomach shrinks. It’ll get better. Be strong.
  9. The most important thing: Know the difference between being geniunely hungry, and just wanting food. Listen to your body, not your brain.
  10. Once you’ve lost some weight, try some heavier exercise, like jogging or what not. You’ll be amazed how much more fun it is when you’re not carrying extra weight. Imagine going for a jog with a 10kg weight strapped around your middle.
  11. Drink a lot of water. It’s really good for you.

That’s basically it. I’ve been ‘dieting’ for close on 8 months now, but I can’t say that it’s really a diet. It’s more of a new approach to the way that I live my life and the foods that I consume. Right now I’m a size 33, weigh in at 84kg, my moobs have gone, I feel better about myself, and I have more energy than before. That, and I look a bit better:

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Just know that it’s a long process, and nothing will come instantly. But it is so worth it.

I’ve always been rather careful of romantic relationships. They’ve never worked out well for me, and I put it down to the fact that I’m a rather quirky person. My sense of humour is dark and twisted, my interests are far from mainstream and socially I don’t really fit in [not that I care]. But every now and then something comes along that makes all the potential hurt and heartbreak worth it.

I met you under a set of very random and serendipitous circumstances. Even though I was hesitant to chase after rainbows or to place labels on anything, I couldn’t argue with the way I felt. I really liked you, and I felt that the feeling was mutual. Watching a movie with you next to me was pure perfection, and falling asleep in your arms made me feel safer than I’ve ever felt before, as if all the bad shit in my life just simply wasn’t there any more. I really felt that we had something going.

But alas, not quite. I hoped things would work out, but after a brief mistake on my part it was radio silence. I’m a simple guy, and not one for games. Cryptic messages at irregular intervals confuse me. It seems a bit hypocritical of you to ask me not to mess you around, as now it feels you’re doing exactly that, but to me.

I now remember why I keep my emotions closed. I guess in future I’ll just have to trust less.

Friday FAIL

This was too good not to share.

The liver of pig is equally appetising.

The liver of pig is equally appetising.

Hat Tip: Niel de la Rouviere

This morning I had my first Twitter FAIL. You should always make sure that what you tweet now can’t be linked in anyway to what you’ve tweeted previously. For example:

NOT what you think

NOT what you think

Hat Tip: Matthew Dekenah

A while back I bought myself a GHD. It stands for ‘Good Hair Day,’ and essentially it’s a really expensive way to straighten your hair. They cost a hell of a lot of money. Like R2k a lot. So when I found one for about half that, I was really happy.

But now I’m sad. I’ve just found out mine is fake. A really, really, really good fake, but fake nonetheless. The only redeeming quality is that it still works, thus my hair is still awesome.

They even have GHD vending machines. Yes, they are that good.

They even have GHD vending machines. Yes, they are that good.

Damn you, sneaky Chineseses.

Another Omegle gem

A while back I made a post about Omegle.com, the website where you can just talk to total random strangers. On the internet. This morning, when my body decided that 04h30 was a perfectly acceptable time to wake me up, I used the time to run across this gem:

Priceless.

Priceless.

Friday FAIL

It just wouldn’t be Friday without a fail, so here it is. Thanks failblog.org

Fail

Fail